Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
