that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
