Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
