why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it glows. i had to have it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We're too hungover to prance.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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