Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
