so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
