So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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