i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
