Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
