U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
