Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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