Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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