it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
