he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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