i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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