SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
