The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
