his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
