google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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