Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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