I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
