Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
