Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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