Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
