I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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