His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize