Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Randomize
