I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize