whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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