Please, let me fuck your mom
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize