He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
