But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
