can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
