first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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