My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
