Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
