he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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