Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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