I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
