tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize