There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
