I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
