Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
