I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
