And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
