literally had 100 drinks last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
But break dance skills will only take you so far
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
