Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
honey bunches of taint.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
