It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
