Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
