cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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