So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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