He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
