New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
