i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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