dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
