morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
