you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your cock deserves a montage
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize