How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
