Porn is love you can see.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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