just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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