My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no, he came in my armpit
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
