dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
