Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
