so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
