Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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