Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
