nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
And then he peed in my hair
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