ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
