Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
