does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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