I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
