Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
