I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
