My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
